


Looking for an Angel

by rachipoo



Series: What I Wouldn't Do [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester Friendship, Castiel in Purgatory, Hunters & Hunting, Reader-Insert, Self-Sacrifice, hunting au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:43:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachipoo/pseuds/rachipoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has suddenly returned from being 'dead' and reveals what happened while he and Castiel were in Purgatory and why Cas isn't with him. Reader and Sam join in the search for Castiel and struggle with when to tell Dean about how close they have become since he disappeared a year ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part in the What I Wouldn't Do series. If you're tuning in here, I would recommend that you go back and read the first part to get some more insight on what's happening right now and what's going to happen from here. Happy reading! :) xoxo

You reach beside you to the little table by the door and pull a silver knife out of the drawer, then dig in your pocket for your vial of holy water.

"Before you splash me with holy water, let me show you something." Dean says.

He bends down and lifts a corner of the welcome mat to reveal the devil's trap you know is underneath. He side-steps out of the circle. Okay, so he's not a demon. You splash his face anyway.

"Okay. Fair enough." Dean says curtly as he wipes a hand down his face. "Now pass me the knife, I'm not a shifter either." He says with his hand held out.

You give him the knife with narrowed eyes and watch as he makes a cut on his arm to show you that he is not, in fact, a shapeshifter. 

"It's really you..." You whisper, almost like a question. 

Dean nods and you jump on him, making him stumble a bit before regaining balance and wrapping his arms around you so tightly it takes your breath away for a moment. You squeeze him back just as hard and let a couple of tears fall. When you finally step back, Dean pulls you in for a kiss and you hesitate before melting into him. You kiss him until you can't breathe and have to pull away, staring into his eyes before looking behind you when you hear Sam coming down the stairs. You turn to meet his shocked eyes. He pulls some holy water out of his boot and makes a beeline for Dean. You rush forward to stop him, placing the palms of your hands against his chest firmly. Sam pushes forward but you dig your heels in and push back.

"Sam! Look at me." You urge, placing a hand on his cheek to direct his eyes to yours.

Sam meets your eyes and visibly relaxes. "It's not him...It can't be..."

"It  _is_ him. It's really him." You say. 

Sam's eyes soften and you move out of the way so he can walk to his brother. They hug each other hard, delivering pats to the back.

"Dean.." Seems to be all Sam can manage.

"Heyya, Sammy." Dean smiles with wet eyes.

. .

Ten minutes later Dean is sitting between you and Sam on the couch as you fire questions at him.

"How are you here?"

"Where were you?"

"Were you..dead?"

"Where's Cas?"

That last question seems to strike a chord in Dean and his face twists. You grab his hand and he squeezes. Dean clears his throat, seeming to be getting ready for something.

"We were in Purgatory." 

" _Purgatory_?" Your brows raise.

"Yeah. Apparently standing too close to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to Purgatory."

"What was it like?" Sam asks what you were both thinking.

"It wasn't good. Please don't make me talk about it right now, Sammy." Dean pleads.

Sam nods apologetically. 

"So...Cas?" You ask.

Dean looks pained as he explains that Castiel is still in Purgatory as far as he knows. When Dean and Cas arrived there, Castiel left Dean behind. Eventually Dean found a vampire named Benny who basically saved his ass and promised to help him find Cas and get them out if they took him too. They found Cas and asked why he left Dean, to which he said that he was trying to keep monsters, mainly Leviathan, away from Dean. Cas told Dean to stay away from him to try and keep him safe but Dean stayed by his side.

"When it came time to come back home...Cas.." Dean says, his voice cracking. "Cas..well, I left him. He's stuck there." Dean says finally, eyes burning with guilt.

You find it hard to believe that Dean would just leave Castiel there, that's just not who he is. You know there must be more to the story but you can see Dean's pain and you don't want to push the issue right now. You place a hand on his knee and his sad eyes meet yours. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault, Dean. You know that, right?" 

He says nothing. Nobody says anything for a while, until Dean breaks the silence.

"So what have you guys been up to?"

You meet Sam's eyes and subtly shake your head, signalling for him to leave out that the two of you have sort of been dating. Now is not the time for that.

"We've been living here and just hunting, mostly." Sam says with a shrug.

"Oh. That's all?" Dean asks lightly.

"Yeah, basically." Sam confirms.

Dean's face falls, not enough for anyone but you to notice. 

You narrow your eyes. "I did look for you, Dean. I tried to bring you back. Nobody would do it." 

Dean tries his best to keep his face neutral but he looks relieved. You  _knew_ he didn't really want you and Sam to forget about him. He'd tried to be noble, and you know he really did want you to be happy, but deep down he wanted you to look for him. 

"She's not lying. I had to follow her around to make sure she didn't get herself killed trying to find you!" Sam says.

Dean looks at his brother for a moment before speaking. "And..did you look for me, Sam?" 

"Dean...you said that you didn't want me to bring you back. You made me promise. I didn't...I didn't try." Sam admits, looking down at the hardwood floor.

You feel the room tense and you're not sure what to say. Dean stares at Sam and then gets up, mumbling something about being hungry and skulking to the kitchen. Sam looks up at you sadly and you frown empathetically. You rub a hand on his leg to console him as you get up to follow Dean. When you get into the kitchen he's looking in the fridge, pulling out meat and cheese for a sandwich. He's doing that thing where he pretends he's fine but he's all... _brooding._

"Dean, let me make that for you." You say, gently pushing him out of the way with your hip to get the rest of the stuff out of the refrigerator. He grunts a thanks and hops up onto the counter.

You begin making his sandwich, humming as you do so, and feel his eyes on you. You set the knife down and turn to face him.

"I know how you must feel, but cut Sam some slack. He really was just trying to do what he thought you would want." You say gently.

Dean's green eyes flare with an emotion you can't place and he doesn't respond. You take that as a sign that he doesn't want to talk about this with you right now. Okay, fine. You turn back to the counter and pick the knife back up, spreading mayo on the bread. You make his food in silence and then hand it to him. He scarfs it down with moans and grunts. 

"So...good..." He groans around a bite.

"It's just a sandwich." You say.

"You always make the best sandwiches." He says as he finishes up.

"You want another one?" 

He nods excitedly.

You make another sandwich and try to talk about something else. "I really missed you." 

"I missed you, too." He says quietly, sliding off the counter to wrap his arms around you from behind.

You lean back against him and close your eyes, taking in the familiar yet alien feeling of Dean's arms holding you. You'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be this close to the older Winchester and your chest clenches at just how much you've really missed him. But then your stomach pangs with guilt and you step away from him, handing him the sandwich with a tight smile. He takes the food and shovels it into his mouth while you watch and think about how much you love him, and how shitty you feel that you love Sam too. 

. . . 

You and the Winchesters push your tension and feelings aside like the true hunters you are and gather around the coffee table with laptops and books, trying to figure out a way to get your angel back. You talk and look at possible solutions until at least four in the morning, before you all pass out on the couches and the floor. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

You wake up early in the morning and stretch, wincing at the pain in your back from sleeping on the floor. You look over at the boys, who are sleeping soundly on either side of the couch, and smile. It's nice to have them both here again. You sit up straighter as you realize that all your stuff is still in Sam's bedroom. You creep up the stairs as quietly as possible and quickly gather your clothes from his dresser and your underwear and bras from around the room. You toss it all in your room and then search around Sam's to make sure you didn't forget anything. You pull your phone charger from the wall and make the bed, knowing that Sam  _always_ made the bed when Dean was still around. Now that you share his bed with him though, you're usually second to get up and you never make it so Sam just leaves it. The last thing you remember to do is unmake your bed so that it looks like you've been sleeping in there the whole time. You hate that you're doing all this but it's not the right time to tell Dean what's going on. What's important right now is bringing Cas back. 

You're just finishing up putting your clothes back into your own dresser when Dean appears in the doorway. 

"Hey." You say nervously.

"Hey. I'm gonna shower. Towels are still in the closet where Bobby kept them?" 

You nod. Dean walks to Sam's bathroom and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You hear Dean chuckle from Sam's room and you go in to see what's so funny. You nearly faint when you see that Dean is holding up a bra, your bra, and waving it around at you. You open your mouth to speak but Dean beats you to it.

"Found this in the bathroom. Looks like Sammy's been getting some action while I've been gone." Dean smirks.

He clearly has no idea that it's your bra.  _Obviously he wouldn't know it's yours, Y/N. You bought it a week ago. He's never seen that one before, idiot._

You're paranoid and you need to just relax. You do your best to smirk at Dean and laugh, but your heart rate is still up. Dean places the bra on the bed and retreats to the bathroom, still chuckling. You snag the bra from the bed and shout something about going to give it to Sam as a souvenir, which earns a laugh from Dean behind the closed bathroom door. You hustle down the stairs and toss the bra in the trash. 

"Y/N, what are you throwing that out for? You just bought it. It looked really good on you." Sam says from behind you.

You spin around. "I left it in your bathroom and Dean found it. He thought it was some random chicks so I had to play along and now I certainly can't wear it." 

"Oh." Is all Sam says. 

"Sam, this lying thing is gonna be really hard. I think...we need to cool it for a while, at least until we find Cas."

It's quiet for a moment before Sam nods. "Ok, whatever you think is best. But we do have to tell him sometime."

"I know, but not yet." You say.

. . . .

Once everyone is dressed and fed you all hit the books to see if you can find anything that can bring Castiel back from Purgatory. A few hours in, Dean says that he could call Benny.

"He might know how we can get Cas out, or at the very least he'll try to help us." Dean says.

You nod and tell him to call but Sam stops him.

"Dean, I don't know. Look, I know he helped you in Purgatory or whatever, but he needed something from you then. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he is a vampire. What's to stop him from killing you now?"

Dean's jaw clenches. "He was there for me the whole time. Were you? You didn't even look for me." 

Sam flinches and Dean looks apologetic.

"I'm just saying that he's a monster, and you shouldn't be so quick to trust him." Sam says, trying to reign in his emotions.

"This coming from the guy who slept with a demon for months." Dean says accusingly.

"And look how that turned out!" Sam exclaims, then he sighs. "I don't want to fight, Dean. I was just making sure you know what you're doing."

Dean doesn't say anything as he pulls out his phone. You can feel the tension in the room and you want to fix the problem but you know you can only care about Cas right now. The boys and their brotherly issues can be fixed at another time and Castiel's life is in danger right now, so you need to focus on that.

Dean puts the phone on speaker and sets it on the table as it rings.

"Dean! I was wonderin' when I'd hear from ya." A man with a southern drawl says from the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Benny. How you been keeping?" Dean asks.

"Been doing okay. How 'bout you?" 

"Not so good. Listen, you're on speaker here with my brother and my...friend." Dean finishes, clearly not sure what to call you. "We just wondered if you knew anything about how we could get Cas out of Purgatory?"

"Ah, that's a negative. But I can ask around and see what I can find." Benny says.

"That would be great, thanks man." 

"Anything for you, brother. I'll call you when I find somethin'." Benny says before hanging up.

Dean pockets his phone and looks pointedly at Sam. "See? He's gonna help."

Sam rolls his eyes and you return to the lore book you were looking at, trying to avoid the situation at hand. 

. . . 

And so for the next few days you continue with the research, waiting to hear back from Benny. You've made a point of falling asleep on the couch so that you don't have to face the choice of sleeping with Dean awkwardly or telling him the truth about you and Sam and probably ending up on the couch anyways. Between all the research and squabbles between Sam and Dean you haven't had to talk to the older Winchester about where your relationship stands now that he's back, and you're glad for that. You think he may be avoiding it as well and that's okay with you. 

You wake one morning to a phone ringing. You search around and find Dean's cell in his jacket pocket. It's Benny. You want to run up and wake Dean but you don't want to miss the call so you answer it.

"Dean? I need some help." Benny says, sounding distressed.

"Um, just a minute, let me get him." You say awkwardly.

You run up and wake Dean, looking away from his painfully attractive body as he sits up, shirtless, in bed. You hand him the phone and leave the room, going downstairs to put some coffee on.

. . 

An hour later you're on the road with Sam and Dean, heading to Benny. Benny was attacked by some other vamps and is apparently looking for his maker, so Dean agreed to help. He tried to tell you and Sam that he was taking a 'personal day' but you didn't buy it for a second, and so he took you guys with him. You have no issue with Benny, but it must be Sam that Dean's worried about. 

You arrive on the outskirts of the town Benny is in and wait for him to show up. It takes about ten minutes and then he shows. He's decently tall with a friendly face and a wide build. He embraces Dean in a bear hug with a grin on his face.

"Man, is it ever good to see you." Dean says as his lips turn up.

"You too, brother." Benny says, patting Dean's back before releasing him. 

Dean turns to introduce you and Sam to the man but Benny speaks up first.

"You must be Sam." He says, holding his hand out to Sam, who shakes it.

"That's me." Sam says curtly.

"Dean told me all about you. You're quite the hunter." 

"Thanks." Comes Sam's tight reply.

Benny's eyes settle on you and he smiles kindly. "And you must be Y/N. Even prettier than I pictured." 

You shake his hand firmly with a grin. "It's nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of Dean in Purgatory." You say sincerely.

"My pleasure." Benny smiles once again before getting down the business. 

. . . . .

You help Benny hunt the vamps that attacked him, which proved to be harder than you thought. And after much drama and fighting the nest was cleared out and you were saying goodbye to him.

"Nice meeting you." Sam says, shaking Benny's hand before retreating to the car. 

"Sorry about him." You say, feeling the need to apologize for Sam's bad behaviour.

"No worries, darlin'. He doesn't trust me, I get it." Benny says with a wave of his hand. 

You offer a small smile. "It was really great to meet you, Benny. Hopefully we can keep in touch." 

Benny leans in for a hug and you wrap your arms around him tightly. You've decided that you like him, he's a good guy.

"It was lovely meetin' you too. You take care of Dean, alright?" 

"Of course." You reply.

You head for the car, hearing Benny tell Dean that he'll keep looking for ways to get Cas out and thanking him for helping with the hunt. They exchange more words and you feel like you should probably stop eavesdropping, so you get into the car.

"Sam, did you have to be so rude to him the whole time?" 

"Y/N, he's a vampire! He's a monster." Sam says.

"He's more human than some of the people I've ever met. He's a good guy, Sam. You need to give him a chance."

"I can't. I don't trust him." Sam argues.

You huff. You hate it when Sam gets like this, but you don't have the time to argue anymore because Dean's getting into the car. 

"You guys ready to go?" He asks. 

You both nod and sit in silence as Dean blasts the music.

. . 

Later that night Sam goes to bed early and you watch a movie with Dean. When it's over you get up for a glass of water but Dean gently grabs your hand.

"Y/N, where are you sleeping tonight?" He asks suddenly.

"Uhh...I thought I would stay up for a while and see what more I can find in the books." You answer, sort of dodging the question.

"I've been avoiding talking to you about what's going on between us, and I know you've been avoiding it too. Are we still a thing? I know it's kind of strange, this situation, and I  _have_ been gone for a year..." Dean says, trailing off.

"Dean, I'll always care about you and love you but I'm just trying to figure out how I'm feeling right now, to be honest. I think our primary focus should be getting Cas back."

"I agree." He nods. "We can talk about it another time."

You nod. Then you just sit there, staring at each other like idiots. You say something about going to brush your teeth and head upstairs. Dean follows, saying he should brush his as well. After you're both done in the bathroom you tell him he can take his bed and you'll go down and do some more research, then you'll sleep on the couch.

"No, you can take the bed. It's more comfortable for you." Dean insists.

You wave your hand. "Nah, it's okay. I don't mind the couch, plus this is your room and your bed." 

Dean says fine and then there you are, just staring at each other again. You're not sure when it happened but he's now close to you, so close that you can smell him. He smells so good, just like you remember. You lean up on your toes a little and he meets you halfway, touching his lips to yours. You kiss him gently at first, then more firmly, remembering the feeling. Soon clothes are being shed and you're laying on the bed, waiting hungrily for Dean to join you. He positions himself over you and you kiss him deeply, running your nails gently up and down his back. He pushes down against you and you're in heaven, not believing how much you've missed his touch. 


	3. Ah, crap

You wake to the sound of Dean gently snoring. Your head is resting on his chest, legs intertwined, with sheets twisted around you. You gingerly untangle yourself from him and pick his plaid shirt up off the floor. You slide it on and button it up before kissing Dean's forehead and heading downstairs. The clock on the microwave tells you it's 5 AM. Sam would be getting up in about an hour, so you put the coffee on and look in the fridge for breakfast. Finding nothing, you decide to make a quick run into town for groceries before the boys get up. You grab a pen and paper from the junk drawer in the kitchen so you can write a note telling the guys where you went. You make your way to the couch and nearly jump out of your skin when you sit on something solid.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing?!" You whisper-shout.

He's sitting on the couch, in the dark, just staring at the floor. You wait a few moments for him to respond, and when he doesn't you try again.

"What are you doing up, Sam?"

"I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep, so I came down here to talk to you and saw that you weren't here. I checked outside and in the garage, and then I got kind of worried, so I went to get Dean and there you were. The two of you were in bed." 

"Oh, god. You didn't see us-?"

"No, you guys were asleep. But it's pretty clear what happened before that." Sam says flatly.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. It just kind of happened."

Sam doesn't say anything for a while. You feel terrible. You didn't mean to sleep with Dean and you  _certainly_ didn't mean for Sam to find out this way. 

"Do you love him?"

The question takes you off guard, but you answer without hesitation. "Of course I love him. You know that."

"No, I mean do you love him more than you love me?"

_Ah, crap. That's a loaded question._

"No, I don't love him  _more..._ just.." You trail off. _Not more, just differently_.

"Then why, Y/N, is it okay for you to 'cool it' with me and then go ahead and sleep with him?" Sam asks, still looking down.

"It's not okay. I didn't mean for it to happen, honestly. I'm just kind of in a weird place and my feelings are all over the place and...and I know that's not an excuse and it doesn't change the fact that I handled the situation all wrong. I'm so sorry, I really am." You say, desperately hoping he'll understand.

Sam looks at you then, but you wish that he hadn't. You'd expected anger in his eyes, but all you saw was sadness, and that was much worse.

"Sam, please. I didn't mean-"

"You don't just accidentally sleep with someone." He says quietly, sadly.

"I know, I know. I'm..sorry." You say lamely.

The room is silent for a while before Sam speaks up again, this time a little louder. Here's the anger.

"And what happened to finding Cas? You've been telling both of us that all we should be focusing on is Cas and yet here you are sleeping with-!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't get to say that to me. I  _have_ been trying to find Cas! Don't make me out to be some slutty, love obsessed idiot." You say, louder than you intended.

You cringe when you hear movement upstairs. You'd woken Dean up...fantastic.

You look at Sam, your eyes begging him not to say anything to Dean about this. This little fight between you and Sam was enough drama for now. Sam looks away from you and you worry that he's going to cause a scene with Dean, but when his brother comes down the stairs he just mumbles something about going for a run and leaves. You breath a sigh of relief, but guilt still sits heavily in your chest.

Dean shuffles over, his hair sticking up in adorable spikes, and kisses your cheek. You give him a small smile and let him know that there's coffee. He sits beside you on the couch with a furrowed brow.

"Coffee can wait. What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." You reply, looking anywhere but at him.

His fingers grip your chin gently and he pulls your gaze to his. "I know something's wrong. Come on, what is it?"

You think about telling him the truth about you and Sam, but then decide against it. 

"I'm just worried about Cas." You say instead, which really isn't a lie.

"Me too." Dean says, pain flashing across his eyes. 

You grip his hand. "We'll get him back, Dean."

Dean locks his fingers with yours and smiles sadly. "I sure hope so."

You look at him for a few minutes before he leans in slowly, his lips moving to yours, and then...

The front door opens and Sam says "Forgot my earbuds.."

You jump away from Dean but Sam had already seen. You see his jaw working and you stand up from the couch, making it halfway to Sam before he looks at Dean.

"Dean, I had sex with your girlfriend." He blurts.

"Sam, you jackass! Way to ease him into it!" You shout.

You sneak a glance at Dean and he looks confused, then pensive. And then Sam talks  _again._

"We were dating for a couple of months before you came back." Sam says.

Without a word, Dean gets up off the couch and strides into the kitchen. You hear him pacing back and forth before he comes out into the living room and heads straight for Sam. 

"Dean, I'm sor-"

Sam's speech is cut off by Dean's right hook. The younger Winchester stumbles back but doesn't go down. Dean punches him one more time before pushing him aside and rushing out the door. You glare at Sam and then struggle between seeing if he's okay and going after Dean. You decide to go after Dean. You fling the door open and walk briskly to Dean.

"Dean, wait!"

He spins around as you approach, his jaw clenched.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to, but it wasn't the right time." You say honestly.

"And when was the right time gonna be, Y/N?"

"I don't know, Dean. When we brought Cas back, I guess."

Dean laughs with no humor. He turns back around and stomps toward the Impala. 

"Dean, stop, please! I know you're angry, and you have every right to be, but please try to understand.."

Dean pins you with his blazing stare as he comes back over to you. "Understand what? You made it seem like all you did was try to get me and Cas back, and even when I came back you were focused on Cas. I thought that was really amazing of you, but now I find out you've been slutting around with every-"

You slap Dean so hard your hand stings. "Dean Winchester, you do  _not_ get to speak to me that way. I understand I made a mistake in not telling you, but I won't let you say that to me. Not you. You were gone, I tried everything to get you back. Everything!"

"Whatever, Y/N. I'm going to try and get my friend back. You enjoy your time with Sam." Dean says bitterly as he rubs his cheek absently. You see red marks already appearing from your fingers.

He wrenches the car door open and gets in. You let him leave, watching as he speeds away, before you head back inside to check on Sam.

"Are you okay, Sam?"

"I'm fine. Aren't you going to hop into a car and go after him?" Sam asks condescendingly.

"Oh, right. I forgot you're mad at me too." You reply. "No, I'm not going after him. He needs some time."

"I think we all need some time. I think you should go stay at a motel for a while." Sam says.

You stand there in silence for a moment before you nod curtly and go upstairs to get your things. You find a pick-up truck under a tarp in the garage and leave without saying goodbye.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally about to make some progress on getting Cas out of Purgatory. I've been sort of trying to follow the Purgatory portion of the show's plot, but now it's going to differ from the show and come from my imagination a bit :)

You find the least disgusting of the few motels in town and get yourself a room. As you unload your couple of bags from the truck you think about what you're supposed to do while you and the Winchesters are 'taking some time'. You suppose you'll keep hunting until one of them contacts you. You heave a sigh as you plop onto the semi comfortable bed and stare at the ceiling. You try to remember what you did when you were by yourself before you even met Sam and Dean, but you have no idea. Hunting and hanging out with the boys is all you've been doing for years and now you're back on your own like you were before. You must have been awfully bored by yourself all those years ago. Nobody to talk to, nobody to joke with, and certainly nobody to watch your back. The Winchesters are the most constant thing in your life and now you've screwed it up. You sigh again and get up to look for your laptop, hoping you can just dive into a case to keep you busy. 

. . . 

Two weeks, a vampire nest, and two ghost cases later, you're sitting on your motel room bed with nothing to do. You've been working nonstop and so you haven't really had the time to be bored, but there don't seem to be any jobs for you left at the moment. You decide to go to a movie, maybe that will be fun. 

You arrive at the theatre and it's nearly deserted. It's a Monday night, so you really didn't expect it to be busy anyway. You look at the movie board and find some comedy that you've been wanting to see and buy yourself a ticket, some popcorn, and a drink. You walk to your designated theatre and there are only two other people in there. You find a spot near the middle and settle in, hoping to get your mind off of the boys. 

The movie is as funny as you'd hoped it would be, but it just isn't the same without Sam and Dean bickering about candy beside you. The whole thing is kind of depressing you, actually. Once it's over you hurry out of the theatre, eager to get back to your motel and mope around just for one night. When you arrive at your room, the door is slightly ajar and the lights are on. You begin walking quietly and stealthily, approaching with your knife in your hand. You push the door open slowly to reveal...

"Benny?!" You exclaim, relaxing a bit and lowering your knife. 

"Sorry, darlin'. Didn't mean to scare ya." Benny says with a wry smile and a glance at the blade clenched in your hand.

You slide the knife back into your boot, close the door, and plop down on the chair in the corner of the room. "What are you doing here?"

Benny walks over and sits across from you. "Well..Dean and I have been on the hunt for Castiel and we think we may have found a way to get him out."

Ah, so Dean has been with Benny. You suppose that means he and Sam haven't reconciled either.

"How can I help?" You ask.

"See, that's the thing. Dean doesn't know I'm here. He's real heartbroken about whatever happened between the two of you and he doesn't want your help, or Sam's." Benny explains.

"Well tough shit, cause I'm helping." You tell him firmly.

Benny smirks at you. "I figured you'd say somethin' like that. Ok, so we were thinking that someone could bring Cas out sort of the way Dean got me out."

"Yeah, but you had a body waiting here for you. Cas doesn't have that." You say.

"Yes, but he's an angel. He can come out and just take a new body." Benny replies. 

You think about that for a moment. Cas with a new vessel? You can't imagine that. Jimmy Novak has always been his vessel, and Jimmy is long gone now, so it's just Cas in there. You're not sure Cas would be okay with taking over another human body and letting them dwindle away inside. He felt guilty enough about Jimmy. You voice this concern with Benny and he nods in agreement.

"I know it won't be easy on Castiel but it's this or we have to keep looking." Benny explains.

You nod understandingly, but you're still not sold on the idea. "I know Cas, and I know he won't be okay with this. Also, one of us would have to manage to get into Purgatory to get him, and then get out again. There's too much to risk without knowing this will work for sure." 

"Dean said the same thing. He's not so sure about it either. I just don't know how many other options we're gonna have, Y/N." 

"I get it. Can we maybe just keep this one in our back pocket and give ourselves...hmm..two more weeks to keep looking?" You propose.

"It's a deal." Benny nods. He stands and walks over to the door. "I better get going, Dean's sleeping but he'll notice I'm gone eventually." 

"Okay, thanks for coming to let me know what's going on, Benny. Uh, you'll call if you find anything?"

Benny nods. "You have my number, you call me if you find something too, ok?"

"I will." You say as you get up to give the man a hug.

"Good to see you, Y/N." Benny says as he returns your tight hug.

"You too. Um..How's Dean?" You finally ask as you step back.

Benny smiles sadly. "He misses you and he misses his brother. He didn't tell me that, of course. But I know."

You look at the floor. 

"Y/N?" 

You look up at Benny.

"He'll be okay. He's the toughest son'bitch I've ever met, aside from you of course." Benny says with a smile and a wink. "You and those Winchester boys will be back to normal before you know it." He assures you.

"I'm not sure about that, but thanks." You offer Benny a small smile and wave him out the door.

. . 

As soon as Benny is gone you pull out your computer and start researching again, determined to find some way to get Castiel back besides the one you'd just talked about. You're getting your friend back and you're getting him back soon. 


End file.
